Under The Mallee Bough

  The Modern Method of Living. The Modern Method of Living. Y’know, I think I have almost got the knack of this modern lifes. . . , There you go, I was going to say “lifestyle”, but that would denote that we had a choice of what kind of life we chose to live…but no..rather, I see these times as an absurdity thrust upon us without choice or escape..so I would be better to choose the word in the title vis; “Method”…yes, I have almost got the gist of this modern method of getting by in an absurd world.. and it all came about through again my motor car. I’ll tell you… This morning I went to take the car out of the garage and I see it has a flat tyre…front drivers side..flat as a tack..bugger!…So I go to the boot to get the jack and the spare tyre out to do the job…a job, by the way any man my age has done dozens of times..you jack the car up, undo the wheel nuts and swap the spare from the boot to the car, tighten the wheel nuts back on ...

  The Last Sermon of Caitlin Brown. (Giovanni Sassoferrato | Virgin Mary and the Holy Spirit). The Last Sermon of Caitlin Brown. Having been suddenly invited to The Bishop’s residence, Father Terrance Simmonds was somewhat perplexed when upon being asked to sit opposite the Bishop himself, he was then invited to participate in a game of chess. Father Terrance had to confess that he had not the slightest clue in how to play the game and begged to be released from participating as he would surely only make a fool of himself. “Well..that being so, the last thing a Bishop wants is to have one of his priests make a fool of himself…no matter what the game…but then, Terrance…I hope you don’t mind me fiddling with the pieces in practice for a tournament I am joining in with Cardinal Pearson tomorrow..good, then please bear with me as I explain”. The Bishop had a soft polishing cloth next to the game board, which he used to clean and shine...

  The Lost Principles of Dignam Schwartz. The Lost Principles of Dignam Schwartz. The short, front bar of the Totnam Hotel in the regional town of Mt Mossman finished in a dead-end against the western wall of the hotel. Next to the bar on its right side was a once busy but now seldom used dart board…its playful amusement being replaced by continual television programs featuring any current sporting event or panel of experts discussing such events OR the running of all and sundry horse, trotting and greyhound races…that, combined with a number of coin inserted slot machines in a side room made the skill of dart throwing redundant…three tatty darts stuck deep into the board resided there interminably. On the left side of the bar in the servery was a yellowing poster advertising “Kahlua Liqueur”.. there was a barstool sited at this extremity on the customer side that was the accepted possession of the aged person of Dignam Schwartz. It was not t...

  The Three Sisters. I re-post this story that I wrote many years ago as a tribute to what I see as “The Italian Style” of storytelling, in that it has all exaggeration and exclamation of the exuberance of that nations storytelling!…I offer no apologies for the long windiness of the narrator, nor the outrageous exuberance of the characters!…just enjoy, if you please, signori. “Buongiorno signore e signora turisti”.. Bertouli called out effusively with appropriate operatic gestures with the arms. ” Welcome to my humble stall….Scusi signora, but your shadow falls on my bowls and utensils and dulls their shine….grazi!” he danced around his wares manipulating the tourists with gentle hand movements, all the while keeping up a running commentary on everything and anything.. “So, just off the train from Naples eh? have a good trip?….see here, this is an exact replica of the Emperor Caligula’s goblet,..that he would use to toast the death stro...