Margaret Fulton’s Cookbook.

Margaret Fulton’s Cookbook.

A Play..

Characters: Jonty, aged woman (real name; Jeannie) no-nonsense person..grandmother of Cassie.

Cassie: 13 yr. old Grandaughter in Jonty’s care for the duration of the school holidays.

Scene: Jonty’s kitchen table..Jonty sits alone reading from a letter just opened.

Jonty : “ Thanks ever so much for looking after Cassie this coming week, mum…I don’t know what I would do these holidays without you…I hope she is no bother to you and perhaps you will find her good company..(if you can lever that wretched mobile phone from her hands!)..She will drop around Friday after school..Also, I have arranged with the super-nice people at “Foodfast” to deliver a cooler-box of food products to your door this week to save you having to buy in extra for Cassie…there will be products in the styrene box they deliver that we regularly eat here, so Cass’ will feel right at home!…

Again…thanks so much Mum..both Michael and myself are so busy this week at work seminars and conferences, we just would not have the time to spend with Cassie that she needs..

Love you…Emily. “

(Jeannie places the letter with envelope to one side of the table, stands and goes to a kitchen dresser on the side of the room..she takes from one of the shelves a large book and brings it to the table…She plonks it down heavily on the table, opens it and reads..)

J..: “The Complete Margaret Fulton Cookbook….A Styrene box of food, INDEED!…We’ll see about that…won’t we, my dear Cassie?”

(The doorbell rings, Jonty goes to one side of the stage and returns carrying a white styrene box labelled “Foodfast”, which she places upon the table. She begins to remove items from the box, naming them as she does so…)

J..: “What’s all this pre-packaged rubbish?…Boxed pies, boxed beef casserole, boxed pizza..two of!…boxed curry!…(she pulls out a wrapped candy bar) A Mars Bar!!..goodness me..bananas, avocado, and a smattering of other various canned products…well…we know where this lot will go!”…(she places the box behind a door nearby and returns to the table, where she opens the cookbook.) ..Now…let’s plan a real menu of real food!”

(Jeanne..goes to a drawer and brings pencil and paper to the table..she begins to write upon it, speaking the written words as she does so)

J..: “Weekly menu..;

Friday..: Mains..: Moussaka..With Broccoli and Carrots…Dessert ; Lemon delicious pudding.

Saturday..: ( she pauses to consider)…Let’s go easy on the poor girl to start..(she crosses out a word) ..no blood sausage, beetroot and fried egg…lets give her a treat…Calamari!”…(Lights fade to dark…)

(Stage lights up to show Jeannie entering from the left accompanied by a young schoolgirl in uniform)…

Cassie..: “ Thanks for having me over, Gran…it’s good of you to put me up for the week.”

Jonty..: “ You’re always welcome, dear..I’ve got the spare room all made up ready for you..You can put your things in there…( Cass turns to go, but is held by Jonty)..”Oh..is that your new school blazer?…it’s very smart, if a little tight..”

C..: “ Oh please don’t say anything about my weight, Nan…it’s so embarrassing..”

J..: “ Not I, Cass, dear..(turns aside to mumble)  with that processed food they eat, it’s no wonder.. ( turns back and declares out loud)…I think it is a good sign for a youngster to carry a bit of “condition”…none of that yon Cassius has a lean and hungry look around here!…but is that the school motto there under the badge? ( she reads) ‘Factum Sit Verbum Tumm’..? “

C..: “ It means ; ‘ Make your word your action’..”

J..: “ How very noble..”

C..: “ Some of the older girls have made a joke of it..’Fart when y’sit but turn y’bum’..”

J..: “ Not quite..so noble.. but there..you go.. make yourself at home while I get ready for dinner.” (Lights darken for several minutes while kitchen table is set with food for the dinner..Jonty opens the Margaret Fulton cookbook and reads) “ Ah, yes…here we are..Moussaka…that’s tonight’s meal..”

(The table is set for dinner, Jonty places the dish of Moussaka on the table as Cassie enters from the right, casually dressed, holding her phone)

J..: “ Just in time, Cass…sit yourself down and let’s have dinner.”

C..: “ Smells wonderful…is this from the box mum ordered?”

J..: “ Hardly…that hasn’t arrived yet…perhaps they had a busy day and will deliver it tomorrow…Here..this is my cooking ..from a recipe in The Margaret Fulton Cookbook..”

C : “Is that an old fashion cookbook, Gran?”

J : “The cookbook may be called ‘old fashioned’, Cass…but the recipes are still quite relevant.”

C : “ But it takes so much time to prepare food from a cookbook.”

J : “ And so it should, Cass..whether food be slow and long to prepare or not, good food…very good food is eternal!”

C.. : “ Mum has a cookbook she uses for the microwave.”

J.. : “ Is that so?..well, I shouldn’t wonder on the meals she must prepare.”

C.. : “ OH, no, Gran…the meals come already prepared, she has to heat them up according to instructions.”

J .. : “Fancy!…modern times…so convienent.”

C..: “ Oh..what is it?” (Cassie smells the moussaka).

J.. : “ Moussaka, my dear..”

C.. : “ Where is that from?..it doesn’t look like the meals mum gets from Foodfast.”

J..: “ Many places, I believe..it is thought to be of Greek origin, but in the cookbook, she says it is from Rumania…tell you what…why don’t you look it up in that phone of yours?”

(Cassie brightens up keen to use it to impress Gran)..

C..: “ Oh…It says on AI that it is from Baghdad..! (she reads) : “Although moussaka is famous as a Greek national dish, it was not invented in that country. A mediaeval book titled ‘A Baghdad Cookery book’ suggests that moussaka originated in the Levant. It contains a musakhkhan recipe similar to that of moussaka. The cookbook was published around the 13th century..”

J..: “ Well…I suppose Ms Fulton’s source must stand corrected…after all, what can one say against AI..? “

(Cassie picks up knife and fork and gazes over dinner setting, replete with water jug, glasses and side plates etc..) This is nice Gran’…I usually eat my dinner in front of the tele’while watching Netflix..”

J.. : “ Be a bit sloppy, I would think…doesn’t the sauce drip off the plate?”

C..: “ Oh no, the food comes in separate serves in its own plastic container.”

J..: “ Oh…like dog food?” (Jonty gazes wide eyed in naïve amazement at Cassie).

C..: “ Oh Gran…not at all..it’s just normal these days..”

J..: “ I think I will stick to the old fashioned way..just like when your mother was young like yourself, Cassie.” (She smiles kindly to Cassie).

(stage darkens to re-light to show Jonty and Cassie sitting in lounge chairs in the next room…Cassie is nibbling some sort of crackers from a snack-pack while she watches the tele…we can’t see what,s on the television, but it is loud, aggressive with flashing lights…Jonty sits side on to the tele, not watching, knitting with needles…)

J : “What’s that you’re watching, Cass?”

C : “Oh..it’s a thriller, Gran..it’s on to the end of episode six!”

J : “Sounds rather exciting..what’s it called?”

C : “…’Rescue from Russia’…lots of action..”

J : “Perhaps I should watch?”

C : “Oh..I don’t think you’d like it Gran…it’s a bit rough..”

(Jeannie stops knitting and looks to Cassie with her eyebrows raised in sardonic surprise)

J : “Oh..You think I have lived such a sheltered, life, Cass?”

C : “Oh, no, Gran…but..but I don’t think it could be as rough as it is nowadays…what with all these wars, terrorists and things..”

J : “There were a couple of wars around back in my days, Cassie…and even around this house here there were moments of touch and go…even back when your mother was a teenager..like yourself…well..perhaps a bit older than yourself..”

C : “Here!?…like we see on tv?”

J : “Certainly…well, it didn’t boil over into actual gunshots, but it came close..back when your grandfather was alive.”

(The television show ends..Cassie turns off the television and moves to sit on a pouffe near her gran..)

C : “ What are you knitting, Gran?”

J : “ Oh..it’s just a tea cosy..it is going to be a koala bear..when I put some stuffing in the head.”

C : “ It looks cute…but who do you knit them for?..I’ve never seen one at my place”.

J : “ It’s for the Auxillary stall…we have one for display and sales down the local mall once every three months.”

C : “ Do people still actually use them, Gran..and why do you do it?”

J : “Oh..I doubt if people do use them for what they are made for, Cass…but people do say they remind them of older times and they buy them for their cuteness or just for show..(Jonty smooths out the knitting and gazes at it in silence) I make them, Cassie, because in the repetitive stitching and the slow evolving of the finished product, my mind must hold to a strict discipline of keeping and paying attention to the required pattern..a system that I grew with and held as need to stay the distance as I lived my life..and now, at the end, I do it because it is a simple, rock-comfort to myself.”

C : “Anyway..So tell me, Gran..it sounds exciting!..what was the most thrilling event here back in Mum’s teen years?”

(Jonty stops knitting and places the work in her lap and stares at the ceiling thinking..)

J : “Let’s see…Well, there was one rather frightening night that got your grandfather all in a lather because Emily (Cassie’s mother) came home very late and on the back of her boyfriend’s motorcycle..your grandfather…Ralph was livid!”

C : “Mum had a biker for a boyfriend?…like..wow!…I didn’t know she had it in her..”

J : “Yes..well..that was Ralph’s worry…and he was part of a group of bikers in those days.”

C : “What..a big fat biker on a Harley Davidson motorcycle?”

J : “Oh no…they weren’t like that in those days..they were quite stylishly dressed as was the fashion of bikers in those days..lots of sharp leather jackets with chrome chains and things..and they rode British motorcycles..like Triumph and BSA..or a Norton if they were intellectual..”

C : “How do you know the motorcycle names, Gran..?”

J : “Well, that’s how many of us youngsters used to get around in those days…motorcycles were the main means of cheaper transport for working people…even Ralph courted me on a Triumph Tiger”…(Jonty smiles condescendingly to Cassie)

C : “So what happened after mum gets home late?”

J : “ Ralph..as I said was livid..(Jonty fusses with her knitting while she regales the tale to Cassie)..He worried about several things, the dangers of riding around with a gang, whether this gang got up to trouble with the law and if his daughter was being promiscuious with her boyfriend..”

C : “Mum!…promiscuious!?…(she snorts) hardly..she evens asks me if her bra-strap is too visible under her gown when she goes out with dad..”

J : “It was the times, Cass…a leftover from older days, older mores..Anyway , when they do finally arrive home, Ralph goes outside to confront the boyfriend and wales into him about disrespecting himself, Ralph as the father..and the lad casually takes off his leather jacket and throws it over the rear-view mirror of the motorcycle..I remember it had an image of a cartoon character of the times painted on the back..and I think he was nicknamed after it..what was it now..Oh yes..”Zeke wolf”..and he was called ‘Zeke’..anyway, he casually says she’s (your Mum) old enough to make her own decisions…and Ralph then makes a decision for himself and clouts the boyfriend about the ear’ole!…well one thing led to another and I had to intervene to separate them rolling about on the front lawn before they did each other some real damage..”

C : “Wow!…what did you do?”

J : “I threatened them with the straw-broom, calmed them down and said to at least go into the house and talk it out, but not make a spectacle on the front lawn…Which we all did..and in the end after much to and fro-ing of blame and excuses and reasons, they shook hands and apologised for the misunderstanding…”

C : “And was anyone hurt?”

J : “ Just their pride…and your Mum’s boyfriend got his shirt near torn off his back..so Ralph had to lend him one his so the lad could at least ride home without catching a chill..”

C : “Oh well..I suppose that was the last mum saw of THAT boyfriend..”

J : “No…not really..he hung around for quite a while after that incident..as a matter of fact, he and Ralph shared an interest in motorcycles right up until Ralph’s death back so many years ago..before you were born.”

C : “Oh…gramps and dad would’ve got along as dad likes old motorbikes..he has one in the garage that he’s restoring..I think that’s called a “Triumph”..”

J : “The boyfriend was a quite handsome chap..and he and Ralph also had an interest in tattoos they talked about…Ralph had a couple he got in the navy when he was in the war..and the boyfriend had one of a cobra snake on his chest,, I saw it that night he had his shirt torn off..”

C : “ Hah!…that’s funny..say..dad has a snake tattoo on his chest too!”

J : “Well, as I say,,the boyfriend hung around for quite a while until Ralph wanted to know what was his intention regarding Emily..And he said his intention..using his own words..;’Was to make an honest woman of her’..Ralph’s temper immediately flared up and then they both laughed at the mischievous slighting and they shook hands…and your mother and the lad eventually got married.”

C : “Oh!…Oh!..so the biker lad.. HE was dad?…Oh..how wonderful…I can’t wait to tease mum!..”

J : “But first you are here for the week and please, for Gran’s sake put that phone away and hold your tongue until you get back home…for patience really is a virtue..and there’s plenty of time to think about those times and I’ve still got a few more tales I can tell you…AND, I’ve got a whole week’s menu already worked out for us to have a really nice time spent cooking them together…all chosen with love from my “Margaret Fulton Cookbook”.”

(Stage darkens…end of play)